This month I’ve decided to do a series on the funniest marketing
schemes I’ve seen. Over my years in this industry I’ve really heard a
lot of unbelievable market propositions and reasons that people bought.
You have probably heard many of them too. I’m going to unmask the
truth behind the BULL @#$%/.
First and probably one of my favorites is a few years old. You
remember predictions of Y2K (year 2000) doom. Computers were going to
stop working, airliners were going to fall from the sky even cars with
computer chips would go haywire. In our industry it was “whatever
terminal you had” ABSOLUTELY would not work come January 1st 2000. So
of course you had to buy or lease a new “special” Y2K terminal from
them. I even heard of people running phony Y2K compliance tests on
terminals. “Mr. Merchant, can I run a test on your terminal to see if
you’re Y2K compliant?” They’d push a few buttons and of course the
answer was always NO. You remember that on January 1st 2000 life went
on as usual–even the lowly ZonJr continued to work. Oh how many people
needlessly upgraded? You know this is where common sense needs to
apply. If you’re a merchant and your terminal will no longer be able
to process transactions as of a certain date, you can bet the 1st
person you’ll be hearing from is your CURRENT PROCESSOR.
Now I’m on to smart cards, which I fondly call the new Y2K Bull @##$$.
We run in to a steady flow of merchants that were led to believe that
next week “everyone was going to want to pay with a smart card”.
That’s right, if your terminal wasn’t able to accept smart cards you
may as well not even open for business. I must have missed that memo.
The truth seems to be that smart cards at the POS in the open U.S.
market are just about a dead issue. Just about all of the big tests
by card issuers have failed and the chips have been taken off the
cards. I really feel bad for anyone that got rid of a perfectly good
terminal and they are still waiting patiently for the hoards of people
that will some day come bearing smart cards.
Don’t forget the old, “our terminal is special”. There used to be a
company in our area that was selling a package of website, check
conversion, gift card and credit card / online debit card processing.
This fancy new system was a Nurit 2085, a cheap check scanner, and
Verifone PIN Pad 1000. I spoke to merchants that already had Nurits
and PIN Pads that were told that they could not use that equipment
because their terminals didn’t have the special chips and memory.
Well throw in some cookies baked in the Keebler Elf tree and some fairy
dust and you got a deal. Or maybe they could just be selling the
“special” terminal that prints money. I mean why beat around the bush,
for a $150.00 per month lease the thing better print money. Needless
to say the only thing special about most terminals is that a processor
will put a proprietary chip or software encryption in the machine that
blocks another company from reprogramming it. That’s a special feature
I’d rather live without, if I were a merchant.
Ah, that leads me to the newest twist on terminal Bull @#$% I’ve heard.
That’s the old firewall and computer virus pitch. You know that your
terminal, just like your computer, is vulnerable to viruses, it will
make your terminal come alive some day and kill your kitchen help and
turn your dog against you. NOT. The truth is if it’s dial-up there’s
not much to worry about at all. The new IP-based terminals have a
legitimate virus and hacker concern. But these concerns are the same
with ANY IP-based terminal and processor. Which leads me to a little
twist on this one. The old “compliance firewall” pitch. We all know
that that the compromise of credit card and consumer info to hackers
has been BIG NEWS. So who wouldn’t be concerned if they were in
violation of a new rule that mandated a fire walled terminal? Oh my
god I could get fined, my customers would be angry with me and I’d get
a lot of bad publicity. I’d better buy or lease one of your “fancy”,
“special” fire walled terminals today. NOT.
I always say “the devil is in the details” and that basic common sense
will keep you out of most trouble. No matter what the situation you
and your merchants need to keep a level head and not let people push
the emotional buttons. Two things common to Bull @#$%^ is that it
doesn’t give all the details, just the ones they want you to see, and
it simply doesn’t make sense. But two things it always does is to play
on people’s fears and tell people what they want to hear.
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